5 Tips for Dealing with a Breakup

Breaking up is hard to do, but these tips for dealing with a breakup will soften the blow.

He or she left you, or you left them, and no matter which end of the break up you’re on, you are now left to pick up the pieces and move on.

If this really is the end of the road, and you know in your heart that there are irreconcilable differences, it’s time to move on.

Needless to say, this period will be a difficult one. But take heart, this there are ways of dealing with a breakup that will have you bouncing back to your old self in no time.

If you can read, understand, and most importantly, implement these 5 Tips to Moving On, you’ll be well on your way out of the past and on with your life.

Tip 1 – You Are Not Alone. Really.

Yep, it sure feels like you’re alone, like the whole world is conspiring against you. Friends may have turned their back on you, all of your social circles are torn apart, and you may have even suffered (or inflicted!) some embarrassing social media revelations.

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But, no matter what your ex said about you on Facebook, you have more friends than you can possibly know. Start with family: they love you and always will, and should be your number one go to resource in the time of grief. Next, we got some old friends that maybe you’ve neglected. (If you don’t have family or friends, go to a church. I guarantee you someone there will take the time to listen and help).

Maybe there’s an old childhood friend, or high school buddy who you haven’t caught up with in a long time. Chatting with them, reconnecting, and reminiscing the good old days (before you even met your ex) will help ground you.

Connecting with old friends is a great way to regain your own identity and unravel it from the person you just broke up with. The process of becoming your own person again is crucial to moving on.

Tip 2 -Leave the Past Where it Belongs: In the Past

This is a tough one guys and girls, but is some of the best relationship break up advice you’ll ever get. What exactly does this entail? This means no texting, no looking through old photographs or smelling old clothes of your ex (I’ve done this, it’s no good). It also means giving up the idea of a painful visit to your ex just to pick up some meaningless items. You pride is not worth that Nickelback CD or old underwear. You’ll be getting some new stuff for yourself in step 4 anyway.

Anytime you try to relive the past, you’re only prolonging the agony and extending the time it will take to heal and move on with your life. Once you’re really sure the relationship is over, you got to sever all ties quickly and without remorse. “We can be friends” may work in 12, 18, or 24 months, but I’ll tell you right now it sure as hell isn’t going to work in the next few weeks.

You’ve got to yank the Band-Aid off instead of slowly and painfully pulling out the hair on your arms one by one. Removing all traces of your ex from your life will take guts, but you can do it. You’re trying to find the shortest distance between two points. Point A is where you are now and point B is feeling better. It really is that simple, you want to take the short route or the long route?

If you’re into suffering, and a lot of people are, then take the long route. However, if you value your well-being and want to move on with your life you must eradicate all traces of your ex and leave the past in the past. Start today.

Tip 3 – Check out

Leave. Go. Begone. Most likely, all of your daily routines and habits today are exactly the same as they were just a short while ago when you were with your ex. To preserve your sanity, you must break some or all of these routines.

The easiest way to accomplish this? One word: travel.

Get away somewhere, it really doesn’t matter where. You may have a favorite spot just out of town, or you may find this a perfect opportunity to take the two-week jaunt across Europe you’ve been wanting to do for years.

Either trip will be therapeutic, and will break all of your habits and patterns that keep you thinking about your ex.

A word of caution: don’t go alone. Take your friend, your buddy, your brother, your sister, your cousin, take your mom I don’t care, just go with someone. The last thing you want to do is be in a strange place all alone feeling desperate and nostalgic. PS – don’t take someone you’re trying to hook up with! It will be weird and awkward for both of you this soon after you got single.

Travel opens your mind to new possibilities, and the biggest possibility on your plate right now is your wide-open future. You get to write your life story, make it a good one.

Tip 4 – Pump it up

Your ego that is. Whether you did the dumping or received the dumping, it’s highly likely that your ego is bruised, beaten, and in need of a pick me up. This will be different for guys and girls, different for each and every person, really. Find out what makes you tick, what makes you happy. What guilty pleasure can you indulge in? This may mean buying a new pair shoes, or new mountain bike, or just treating yourself to a night out with friends who will pump you up.

Some of the best relationship break up advice I could give in this category is to start excercising. This may come naturally to you as a means of getting rid of anger and aggression. If it doesn’t come quite so easily, just think of the two massive benefits to get from working out: your rid yourself of all that negative energy, and you look better.

There is something that’s just insanely satisfying about running into your ex six weeks after you broke up and letting them see how in shape, healthy, and happy you look. You’ll have to say a word, you look says it all –“ I’m happier, healthier, and better without you.” Spite isn’t always the greatest motivator, but it will do in this case!

Tip 5 -Write Away (Your Problems)

I had a teacher in college that said “if everyone would just keep a journal, there would be no need in this world for therapists.” An extreme view maybe, but right on the money. Nothing helps get those poisonous thoughts out of your heart and soul as good as writing. Note: you are never to show these writings to anyone or send them to anyone. You must give yourself complete permission to be as honest as you possibly can in these writings and get absolutely everything out. Every negative thought and emotion you get down on paper means one less poisonous thought in your heart and on your mind.

If you’ve never done this, you may feel a little bit silly at first. But I guarantee you feeling a little bit silly is better than feeling a lot sad. Give this one a shot, and maybe some the best ways of dealing with a breakup you ever tried.

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So, now you’re armed with the five tips to moving on. Don’t let these just be words on a page, take action! Remember that the old cliché “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is actually true in this case. I guarantee you’ll be a better person having gone through this experience. It sure doesn’t feel that way now, but hang in there.