How to End an Affair: 8 Foolproof Steps That Will Get You Out Alive

Affairs are like those police pursuits you see on the news every now and again: they’re exciting as hell and pretty much always go horribly, horribly wrong.

Are you caught up in something you can’t control? If so, I commend you for coming here, you’ve taken a very important first step.

In this article I will teach you how to end an affair with the least possible devastation for everyone involved. This is really an “anti-article.” Instead of talking about things you should do, we’re going to discuss the eight don’ts you need to know.

Affairs are messy, nasty debacles that just about always leave several people’s lives in shambles. It’s like getting on a skateboard at the top of a very long, steep hill. When I was a kid we would do this, and watch with amusement as our friends skated down the long hill. It looked like so much fun, like anyone could do it.

==>Click Here for *Proven* Strategies for Dealing with an Affair <==

Affairs sometimes have that same kind of appeal for adults: it looks fun, it’s exciting, and it seems like you should be able to pull it off without any injury. However, just like that skateboard, things start to move very fast. Halfway down the hill you realize things are moving much faster than you can control, and it happens: the skateboard starts to wobble.

You’re picking up speed, your heart is racing, and you’re asking yourself “why on earth did I get on the skateboard?” It looked so easily top of the hill, but now you’re racing down so fast and out of control that you seriously regret your decision and wish there was an easy way off this ride. The wobbling gets faster, and then – BAM!

Your momentum hurls you off the skateboard. You try to land on your feet and just keep running, but you’re going too fast and you’re thrown to the ground. The hot asphalt grinds into your palms, your knees, and you hit your head on the pavement.

The ride is over, and you’re pretty banged up and feeling stupid.

This little anecdote of kids at play contains a lot of similarity to adult infidelity. Okay, you get the picture. Let’s talk about how to end an affair – the Eight Don’ts You Need to Know.

1. Don’t Put it Off

Since you looking for information on how to end an affair, it’s a safe assumption that you are past the very beginning stages of the affair.  You’ve probably realized that you’ve made a mistake. You’re most likely feeling intense guilt and are afraid of this scenario blowing up in your face. These are completely normal feelings, but don’t let them force you to keep the affair going. You know there’s a problem, and the best way to solve it is to start right now. Today. This second.

The longer you put this off, the deeper into this problem you will be. This is a hard first step, but that’s why I put it first! Once you know you’re doing something wrong, you’ve got to act. The longer you wait, the more everyone involved will be hurt.

2. Don’t Think “It’s No Big Deal”

If you’re married or in a serious relationship, an affair is a big deal. It is a cancer to your relationship, and may very well kill your relationship.

However, we humans often rationalize our behavior. Your clever little brain could come up with 1001 reasons why this affair is no big deal, but in your heart you know that’s not true. It’s a big deal, and you know it. Treat it as such.

3. Don’t Give False Hope

If you’re wondering how to end an affair, one of the key pieces of advice I can give you is to be direct with the person you’re having an affair with. Once you’ve made up your mind to end the affair, do not give any false hopes to the person you’ve been sleeping with. You know what you want: you want out of this.

Your emotions will be all over the place, but you’ve got to be clear that you want this affair to be over. Hold fast, read this article 10 times a day if you have to, but hold fast. There may be pleading, crying, and begging from the other person, but you actually hurt them more in the long run if you give them the false hope of a possible relationship.

4. Don’t Leave the Door Open

The fourth “Don’t” is right in line with number three above. Don’t lead the other person on and let them think that there is some possibility for a relationship now or in the near future. Also, don’t let them believe that this affair can continue, while in the back of your mind you’re secretly planning to abandon it.

You have to be up front here, you cannot be two people. Not only is this physically impossible, but it creates a condition in your brain known as “cognitive dissonance.” This is the act of holding two completely separate thoughts in your mind at the same time. It’s extremely difficult on your conscience and your emotional health.

You simply cannot be a good partner to your spouse or significant other while you’re engaged in an affair. You can only travel one road here, and once you decide to end the affair you’ve got to stay on that road and see it through.

5. Don’t Disrespect Anyone

You may very well be disgusted with yourself. This is a completely normal and natural feeling for someone in your position. However, do not take out these negative emotions on the people in your life. That means your significant other and the person you’re cheating with. Most of the time, people don’t cheat with the intention of hurting someone or being malicious.

People cheat because they get caught up in the emotions and because we’re human. We are hardwired for sex and a physical connection. Since you didn’t set out to purposely hurt anyone, don’t start now. The more respectful you are to everyone at this stage, the better everything will turn out. Check your anger, and resist the temptation to project your guilt and negative feelings onto the other people involved.

6. Don’t Finish What You Started

While follow through is a great quality in most areas of your life, it has no business in an affair. It’s perfectly acceptable to acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake and begin taking immediate action to correct it. The sixth don’t in how to end an affair? Just that: end it!

7. Don’t Underestimate

Don’t underestimate the power of sane people to do insane things when confronted with an affair. Otherwise normal, rational people can fly off the handle. They may do and say things that they would normally never do or say. You can’t blame them, they’re under a tremendous amount of emotional stress. There’s no one way to deal with this just be prepared for it. I’m just shooting you straight here, so watch out.

==>Click Here for *Proven* Strategies for Dealing with an Affair <==

8. Don’t Give Up

You can do this. This may prove to be one of the most trying times in your life, but you can get through this!

Hopefully now you have a better understanding of how to end an affair. Yes, you’ve found yourself in this mess, but I’d like to once again commend you for seeking help. You’ve taken a difficult first step, and that shows character. Hang in there and do what you know needs to be done. Remember that countless others have gotten through this situation, and so can you.